crippled
parched
misidentified

i created
explained
exposed a lie
discussed its daggers
no dialogue

erased
put together a catalogue

thoughts or whatever
created in blame
ceased to waiver
a written artifact game

it was just too dope to explain

the pages fell written
some crossing remained
misidentified pastor
saving my brain
filed insane
couldn’t remain
tapped the wall
but no one came
suffered inside
screamed in pain
‘the pain
the pain
its not in vain’

erased it all
remained the same

scanned the doctors
for the name

assessing for ways
to pass the blame
forgo this process
and its fame
all the rest
never the same

folding papers
expose the lies
focussing on its disguise

wondering why
the rage the rink
i suppose you know
what i think
the end of brink
brief decay
the lightening link
that goes away

just bloating pellets
to the sink
the rays
the run
the exposing link
the righteous son
the willing ink

who am i
a quiet dear
the one became
too calm and sheer
i just cannot see it clear

sometimes i wish for a remote
thoughts entwine
a vision of most
holy grail
holy roast

let it out
let it clear
let me understand my fear
where it goes
i remain
never to be the same again

the paranoia the laughing came
i watched it all swim away
my dreams and thoughts were over came
i thought i saw a little fame
touching trees
my thoughts they run
a little girl collects items
she thought were fun

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thoughts of life go hand in hand
breathe with the one
you wish were sands of time
play on end
like a beautiful frumpy jacket
you found
once was with someone else
is now with you
i tease my own hair
and carry it to pretend

whenever I’m drunk with whiskey
i remember the low places
the things i never said
they way you left early
how i got to talk to your voice

the pain i placed
the urge to get up
and stay up
write with might
say this was once
it might be again
with so much experience
and things to say
so many notes flying away

it burns
the whiskey
it burns in my throat
keeps those words
don’t float away

i wont steal your man but
i will love him too
you can keep him
but i want him once
because long times ago
he was with me
and now i see
we need eachother
to fix up our past
there were things undone
and i cant keep going
unless i keep him
tonight
do you agree?

Anything I think about
I can write about

Any dream or voice I have thought of having
and crumbling that may occur
will occur
and my decency will become tender
a mere exchange
a process or brainy quote
deep in side there is a person
a human
i have feelings.

I have fear of running with a thought
or idea
i doubt my strength
my intention
so I imitate I mock
I critisize
is inspiration meant for me?
Can I really create something
what makes me different and unique
masking and folding and hiding
but when I shine. I shine.

is my bravery, stupidity?
is my honor, naivety?
is my agitation, mania?
Is my vocation, a mere shadow of me
who is my true self?
where do I sit., if I found them
would it be them?
would i create a plot again and again
could I see it?
do I have feelings? are theyreal?
do I see it?
the difference between brink
and near sighted stability?
am I sane?
if you dont know what I have, Do I have time to change your mind?
how many times should i listen to people who have it wrong
how many times can I say words that blaze firecrackers and dissolve me
will the heart of me just stop pumping?
will all of this picture build up or fade away?
will this pain keep in me, or will i be compliant?
too many times I question whether that familar anger will stay, what will become of my thoughts if they are not full of wit or sass, what would I offer? I have again failed to speak my mind
as I get bigger they call me crazy
they say im close
but they dont realize that desperation motivates
those boxed in have to be reboxed and the longer they run rampant
the higher they have to stack that box and they dont like that
they have to listen to the boxes closest to the top
because if the stack at the bottom isnt big enough there is no room for the higher boxes to sit. no one wants to be on the ground running, its too much work, to displaced.its comfortable to tell someone about their life in an unaccepting manner. hatred has a cruel and obedient spine.
after all look at how close compliant is to the word complaint.
even these documents are written over white.

I will keep that butt slucky attitude if I want
I dread the day
I will drop to my knees
and say
I give this fury a name
a voice in my brain
tells me
who this is
that is speaking
to me
how a mere picture
can engage a thought process
like a wavelength sent from space
the meere intention of thinking like that person
explodes ideas
of not mine
and helps me graze the sweet sweet grass.

cream pie jesse
stares at my folds
disgusting origami
collecting the blows
kick my ass
find a hole and grunt
it doesnt matter
i dont have a cunt