Soon they vanish
Only to return to the desperation
Albeit stubbornness
To relate
Its too late
She calls to me
I knew it all along
My vanishing
Would haunt me
As I run away in youth
I drown it midlife
And depress it all into one suitcase
I yearn for these memories
Like the drift in the wind
I never dropped them
I never would
I just kept covering them all
But not losing
I just wanted them to stay put
To never loose
But now look
I should have known to put so much over
Something so delicate

They’ve torn all away
Its dusty

‘it never was for the things’

please notice

its these differences
I cared for them
like flowers

my photos on the desk
like clippings

im with myself now
everything has settled

I just slow down
to dust
dependant on these hands
this continuation,

I call out
because thats all I remember

please, dont wash my curls

I now know patience
like a cocoon I hug myself
lay me down to rest

and each morning
that sun shines
and I still
taste my coffee

to all
strangers I dont know
but that I sit with now
we wait
to a state of deep indifference
soon tolerant of the noise
listening like children again
but with wisdom
soon of the heat
soon of the stillness
but a knowing of peace now exists
its all gone

any dislikes I once had
my experiences
seem erased
i am still here

I know I am

And this touch,
this contact
these people
its all I have

it reminds me
im still alive